28th July 2009

This few days I know I have let lots of people worry about me. I have told Lawernce not to contact him. But I know some people still care about me. But I want to be alone. Its a hard time for me this few days. I have just quarrel with my aunty last Saturday. Sometime I really don't understand why my aunty can do things that she promise us and never do and she also side her younger son than everytime said is mine wrong. I that day I talk to her about something and than she tell me and go cut my hair on Sunday and I said I must see whether Lawernce can wait for me and than we can go down Fo Tang together. Than she said that he is my gay partern and whatever lah. I really sad because it really hate my feeling. I not don't want go cut hair. Is there I don't have time and money. I want to save money than go cut my hair.
I now don't want take money from her just because of this type of things. I know its hard for her that she everyday have to give me money and support me. Thats why I want to save money first. I lots of things need to buy lor. Somemore I don't want to let them know and make them worried. I am very tired. I have to work and support myself now for other things. My phone bills I have to pay and other things. I want to save money and buy my shoe and other stuff. When her son talk and cut the conversation and i scolded him than my aunty scold me because I scold her son. If I am the one who do that she sure will scold me. I didn't let anyone know and this week I told my Student Council Member that close to me not to find me. I also feel upsad. Even I told Lawernce not to contact just because my aunty said that word. I feel very upsad. No one know how I feel. I even told Lawernce that I maybe will drop up from BXB. Maybe I think I need to work. I really don't know what to do. I know Lawernce was very angry and upsad becuase that day I told him that not contact me. But I don't want to tell him is because when he talk to me those tone that I find that I don't really like. I don't think he can help me up. Haiz.

Someone tell me what should I do??

3rd July 2009

Today Lawerence call me at about 10 +. He tell me he want to come out and shao wu xiang. So he went to my hopuse and after we shao wu xaing. We went to my aunty place and eat. While eating I talk to my aunty about I take over fo tang thing. Is not that I don't want to take over. Is because I think I still cant do it. There is one uncle said a lot of things that sit beside us. He don't even know what we talking and he talking so much. I feel very irrating. Than at first I don't feel like going to Botantic Garden. But after Lawerence than I feel better after that than I go out with him. sad thing..

:(